Musings of a No-Maj

One girl, who I instantly recognised to be Professor Sybill Trelawney — thanks to her curly hair, the stars in her eyes, and the huge orb she was slugging around — walked up to me, eyes wide with theatricality, and told me she saw a job change in my near future.

Anti-social media

He usually begins by asking if you, the writer, are a fan of a rival actor. There’s only one safe response you can provide: Run. Run for your life.

I hated, hated, hated the movie

Negative reviews are your Facebook likes, they are your potato chips, they are your retweets, they are your two-minute noodles