There’s a sinister reason why every tweet about Remo gets accompanied by that god-awful pun of a hashtag, #remontic. The film almost positions itself as a romantic bible for single men, with its protagonist, SK, doling out witticisms throughout the film. I tried to keep up.

Stage 1: Identification of the woman

1. “Single-aave vittu vechirukaanganaa…”

What it means: A woman being single is the result of men letting her be.

This robs women of choice in their relationship status. It also lays the ground for the denouncement of single women for being undesirable.

2. “Appa paechcha kettaa dhaan, husband paechchu kaepaanga.”

What it means: Women need to be handheld.

For those like the protagonist whose choice of women is curiously based on compliance levels, the film suggests a close investigation into how obedient the woman is to her father. The implication is that women are of inferior intelligence, and need guidance from men. Also note the curious usage of appa.

3. “Evanukko sutta dosai, namakku vara madhri.”

What it means:Women are objects to be consumed.

This objectifying analogy is used by the protagonist to justify his pursuit of a strange woman who’s just been engaged… a woman he hopes to floor — or should I say, flour?

Stage 2: Pursuit

4. “Erangi try panren.”

What it means: If you put enough effort into your pursuit, you can get any woman.

This serves the purpose of incapacitating the female’s refusal. If she’s refused you, it can only mean that you didn’t try hard enough.

5. “Ponnungala control panradhu kashtam; confuse pannradhu easy.”

What it means: Women are gullible individuals prone to easy manipulation.

Considering that women in our films sometimes have trouble crossing the road (Paayum Puli), you can see why it’s easy to ‘confuse’ them. The question though is, why would a man have to resort to wilful manipulation in the first place?

6. “Nerungi pona, velagi pogum. Velagi ponaa, nerungi varum.”

What it means: Uninterested women can be coveted by taking a calculated break from pursuit.

This grave wisecrack indicates that even moving on from a disinterested woman — never mind that our films don’t encourage it in the first place — is a strategy to get her.

7. “Azhagaana ponnungalaam mudichikalaam nu solladhinga; ipdi pidichikalaam nu sollunga.”

What it means: It’s a waste when a beautiful woman refuses a man.

This gem applies to only good-looking women, according to the protagonist. No wonder then that when the woman in Remo eventually asks him why he likes her, he is at a loss for deep responses. “Er, your eyes… I think.”

Stage 3: Resolution

8. “Wife kaiyaala adi vaanganum.”

What it means: After marriage, women become shrews.

Theprotagonist signals marital interest using this innovative expression. The idea — that a girlfriend is more affable than a wife — is reinforced in many comedy tracks in our films.

9. “Ponnunga full-time velaye, pasangala azha vekkardhu dhaan.”

What it means: Women are sadistic creatures who find solace in the tears of men.

Another age-old grievance of the Tamil hero, this establishes him as a pitiable, noble person whose fatal flaw is his love for this supposed evil woman. Her evilness, of course, lies in her refusal.

10. “Pasanga seiyara paadhi thappukku ponnunga dhaan kaaranam.”

What it means: Men should be absolved of their misdemeanours, as the real perpetrators are women.

The protagonist almost suggests that crooked men are helpless and deserve empathy.

As hard as it may be to believe, all of these lines are from a single film… a single super-hit film. In the timeless words of the tiny alien in MIB 2… “All is lost.”

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